hosts on bridged wlan can not reliably see each other

soekris 5501 of nov 28, pre new arp

problem description
   o all hosts on the wireless can get outside, no problem
   o they can also get to wired devices on vr[1-3]
   o they can reliably not see/ping/... each other on the wireless
   o the soekris can ping them all
   o higher layers are worse
   o the messages on this list worry me about upgrading this week,
     as this is my home gate to the world and somewhat complex
     (bridge, tunnel, pppoe, ...), whereas the mass of servers are
     all pretty straightforward.

            .----------------.
            |                |
            |       b ---ath0| 192.168.0.0/24
            |       r        |
ext iij    |       i --- vr1| LAN hosts,
PPP/NAT ---|vr0--- d        |
   WAN      |       g --- vr2| DHCP Clients
            |       e        |
            |       0 --- vr3| pptp 200-209
            |                |
            `----------------'

ath0: <Atheros 5212> mem 0xa0010000-0xa001ffff irq 15 at device 17.0 on pci0
ath0: [ITHREAD]
ath0: WARNING: using obsoleted if_watchdog interface
ath0: mac 5.9 phy 4.3 radio 3.6

# uname -a
FreeBSD soek0.psg.com 8.0-CURRENT FreeBSD 8.0-CURRENT #2: Fri Nov 28 
19:16:10 UTC 2008     root_at_soek0.psg.com:/usr/obj/usr/src/sys/SOEK0  i386

wlans_ath0="wlan0 wlan1"
create_args_wlan0="wlanmode hostap channel 11 ssid rgnet-aden wep wepkey 
arbitrarykeys weptxkey 1 media autoselect mode 11g up"
cloned_interfaces=bridge0
ifconfig_bridge0="192.168.0.1 addm vr1 addm vr2 addm vr3 addm wlan0 addm 
wlan1 up"
ifconfig_vr1=up
ifconfig_vr2=up
ifconfig_vr3=up
gateway_enable=YES

the soekris can see them all

# arp -an
? (192.168.0.10) at 00:15:c5:4a:6f:c5 on bridge0 [bridge]
? (192.168.0.12) at 00:1e:52:70:b6:36 on bridge0 [bridge]
? (192.168.0.13) at 00:15:00:10:ed:09 on bridge0 [bridge]
? (192.168.0.17) at 00:0d:65:27:bd:f2 on bridge0 [bridge]
? (192.168.0.128) at 00:23:12:fc:39:b9 on bridge0 [bridge]
? (192.168.0.129) at 00:23:df:6a:dc:9b on bridge0 [bridge]

and gets log entries of

Jan  2 00:01:09 soek kernel: rtfree: 0xc2e803c0 has 1 refs
Jan  2 00:01:16 soek kernel: rtfree: 0xc2e80078 has 1 refs
Jan  2 00:01:16 soek kernel: rtfree: 0xc2e80078 has 1 refs
Jan  2 00:01:16 soek kernel: arp_proxy: ignoring request from 
192.168.0.10 via vr2, expecting bridge0

what more should i do to debug?

randy